While government ministers shuffle faster than a deck of cards at a swingers party, judges are redeployed as car guards and convicted criminals lead Justice towards the boudoir using the secrecy bill as a condom, the only way to describe the general mood in SA’s halls of power is…
‘Mass Hysteria’. From the chaotic ruins of SA politics rises a new hope. The country’s finest comedy performers stand up and take the reins. If comedy had a government, this would be it:
DeVries, Lindi, Rasdien, Missing, Schoonraad, Vlismas, and Modikoane join forces to bring this country just what it needs – The Road To Bwahaha; a stand-up comedy show like no other featuring only headliners, on one stage, and no prisoners. It will all come together at the Grand Arena, GrandWest, on Thursday and Friday, August 16 and 17.
“This is the will of the people,” says Minister of Offence, John Vlismas. “They are tired of being told about service delivery, so we are going out to the people, and doing material delivery. Our government is working overtime to write comedy; the least we can do is share it out amongst the people.”
Each minister will address the nation in accordance with their mandate here in Cape Town.
Screamingly funny, seamlessly staged – this show has a bigger budget than lunch at Nkandla, more full chairs than Parliament and less jokes than Dina Pule’s defence team. ladies and gentlemen of South Africa, rise up as one and book at Computicket – Viva Haha Viva!
The following ministers will be performing in Cape Town:
• Casper De Vries – Minister of Science Fiction, Internet and Miniseries.
• Mpho Modikoane – Minister of Youth.
• Joey Rasdien – Minister of Religion and Evolution.
• Ndumiso Lindi – Roosta In Chief
• Chester Missing – Minister Of Nik Naks, Guilty Whites and Latex.
• John Vlismas – Minister of Offence.
• Kurt Schoonrad – Minister of Gatsby’s, Gaps and Gangs
PETER TROMP had a little chat with SCHOONRAD on the eve of this full on comedy assault.
At last year’s ‘Mass Hysteria’, you were Minister of Flats, Boxwine and Wind. This year you are Minister of Gatsby’s, Gaps and Gangs. Promotion, or demotion?
Promotion! Or at least that’s what they said at our big Mass Hysteria meeting.
What are personal feelings surrounding alliteration?
Tell us a little about your mandate. What vision do you have for your comedy constituents?
Eat, drink and be merry! As long as it’s cut into no more than four pieces.
What qualifies you to hold an office of such immense responsibility?
I’m the only ouk on the line-up that can pronounce the expression “Aweh” correctly.
Where can people report you if they’re lacking in service delivery?
People will be tempted to speak to other patrons to complain. Don’t do that. If you are irate or angry, come to me directly. I’d love to tell you to flip off personally.
Let’s get serious for a moment: what makes you cry?
‘Marley And Me’ the movie. I tried to hide behind that old popular excuse men have been using for years, “Something in my eye.”
Tell us a little about your fellow ministers. Do you consider them colleagues, or competitors?
All a bunch of w**kers if you ask me…
John Vlismas – scary looking. Is he really?
Not really. What most people do not know about John is that he has a tea pot collection. And he is also a part-time shepherd on Thursday afternoons.
The Real Kurt Schoonraad – such a thing exist? If so, what’s he like?
He hasn’t been seen since 1986
Well since I presume you to be the last person to have had contact with him, can you tell us what some of the Real Kurt Schoonraad’s favourite things are in the whole world?
Hot rods and 1950s stuff.
Sartorially speaking, you’re always ahead of the curve. Who’s your tailor?
I had to Google that word.
Hairstyle wise, you’re always ahead of the curve. Who’s your barber (or hairdresser)?
Finish the following sentence any way you like: Cape Town to me is…
What can we expect from you next?
A new “Jou Ma Se Comedy Club” at the V&A waterfront in October.
* Book at Computicket.
Visit the Mass Hysteria Facebook Page at www.facebook.com/MassHysteriaComedy.