Drink until she’s cute or grows a moustache – whichever comes first

Drink until she’s cute or grows a moustache – whichever comes first

Strange how some news stories are just boring by day two. The Gupta landing of the aircraft at Waterkloof was one of those for me. But, the story had a different angle that caught my attention – the wedding photographs. So how about the Gupta wedding, hey? No, I am not wanting to talk about the lavishness of it all, or the relationship between them and the President or, or…it is all a pestilent gall…I want to talk about the photo on the cover of the ‘You’ magazine. I didn’t buy the magazine, nor did I see it lying about somewhere for me to pick up and perhaps look at a better, bigger photo shoot…instead, I saw it on the shelves as one does on one’s way to the checkout at a supermarket…

Let me share with you my train of thought as it played itself out while in the queue to pay for my two litre Tab, Flings and chicken breast fillets. My first thoughts when I saw the photograph was: Oh, the Gupta’s are in favour of same sex marriages. Then I thought – strange – nowhere, not even once did any of the media houses pick up on the same sex angle. That is indeed peculiar! And, would the President have such a great interest in, and be so supportive of the family, have it South African soil – even attend the wedding – had this been a same sex marriage?

Upon closer inspection I realised that it was indeed not two men, but a man and a woman. Oh, just another “normal” wedding, then. I was immediately reminded of the three witches and Macbeth when Macbeth (or was it Macduff?) said to them, upon their first meeting, something like: “You would be women, and yet your beards forbid me to think you are so.” I was equally misled by the moustache on the face of the one I realised was the bride. Then I thought of the mendhi process…this gives a whole new twist to the mendhi thing, doesn’t it? Obviously because of the fact that it puts the men back into mendhi. LOL. Mendhi, what is that, you ask? Find out what it is, if you are not familiar! Google!

Okay…in my limited understanding, it’s an Indian tradition and a process by which the bride is “groomed” (no pun) for her wedding day (or as part of the engagement party) by other women – like the western equivalent of a kitchen tea I would imagine. Part of it would be to smear/decorate the bride with henna…and I would imagine a good old fashioned bathing in milk or perfumed liquids and a shaving session – especially of unwanted, unsightly hair where traditionally women will not have/want hair.

Moustaches that are thicker than the man she is about to marry, I would imagine, would fall into that category? But, hell, who are we to dictate to anyone – especially those with enough money to even buy off Presidents of countries if they so wish – what they should or shouldn’t do with their moustaches or any other hair for that matter? Perhaps that is what the husband fell in love with for all we know?

Perhaps one of the conditions of their marriage was that she grows that moustache to firmly underline her nose or she would lose his love? Perhaps he has latent gay tendencies and would love to marry a man, but couldn’t – for whatever justifiable reason and the closest he could come to this was to marry a heavily moustached woman? And perhaps role playing with stick-on moustaches and beards just doesn’t cut it for him! Who knows? Bottom line: we don’t know…so best we stay out of it!

It is also said that at night everything and everyone has a grey tinge! Actually I just made that up. But what it boils down to is something I once read on a beer mug: “Drink until she’s cute!” It is said that love is blind. I agree (and I didn’t make that up). But surely, however blind you may or may not be, a moustache you can feel – like Braille, whether in a drunken stupor, whether on a man or woman, and even in the dark!