Encore: Round is also a shape

Encore: Round is also a shape

This one’s in praise of nonpolitical correctness regarding size. Insecurities about size can be strange things. There are the pint-size people who usually do their compensation bit by having huge gobs on them or making up in some other form – like driving the biggest SUV available to humanity.

Then there are the bigger-boned (the preferred, politically correct reference, I am told) persons, of which I’m a so-called prime example. The ones who insist: “I am not really fat, I’m big-boned.” Tut tut. LOL and all that jazz… “Is that so. You are big-boned?” would be the response from some (tactless) smart Alec. “How can you see the size of your bones under all that fat?”

Sizes of genitals and cell phones are usually compared by the male of the species in various ways – often not overtly, sometimes just subconsciously or inadvertently. Recently an acquaintance (a portly momma’s boy) regaled this story: He was at a club and some “oak” accidentally bumped into him. “Excuse me, big boy,” said the “oak” – probably meaning it in the most endearing sense – as people have a habit of doing. His snappy reply, while holding his crotch, nogal, was: “What bitch told you I was a big boy?”
I packed up laughing…I mean, have you ever? It’s insane!

People are indeed strange creatures. Big people are my favourites to observe at the moment: the larger man even more so than the fuller-figured woman. My acquaintance – who shall remain nameless – is a podgy “oak” but he is sooooo not comfortable being this bag of potatoes, and probably still in denial about it as well. (Oh, those damn adverts in those beauty magazines that deny him his rights!). My point: if you are uncomfortable and can’t embrace who you are, then do something about it!

Responses to even a whiff of ridicule usually depend on how contented you are with your shape. And, to begin with, if you didn’t want to be a “big boy”, then you shouldn’t have (proverbially) “let yourself go”. You eat too much – of the wrong things and you exercise too little. It’s as simple as that.

Food is comfort…But one can never say this to them. Tact, you see plays a huge role in our very civilized society. And, we do live in a country where the constitution sees to just about everyone’s rights. It doesn’t always explain things to people or change their mindsets, but it protects their rights! Overweight people have rights too. The only way some of them know how to deal with their size is to draw attention to their shape even before anyone else does. When out for the evening, they joke either matter-of-factly, or they tell a few “fat” jokes in an attempt to get the topic out of the way for the rest of the night.

Except, too often, there is a tactless or competitive schmuck at the party who has a bagful of gags that lasts all night. And, as the night progresses, he lets fly at every opportunity, usually to rapturous, raucous laughter because everyone at the party thinks our “big boy” is very at ease with his size, since he started the whole shenanigan to begin with. And, as the drinks are a-flowing, our big boy gets quietly more and more irate. Funny stuff this…I promise you…just observe the next time…It usually ends in one of two ways: “Big boy” and joker are at loggerheads until one of them (depending on the level of inebriation) starts to lash out verbally or even physically. Or, one of them leaves the party early, frequently initiated by a companion who knows what is really going on.

Thing is, being comfortable in one’s skin takes some work…when I watch chubby toddlers play, I see contented, relaxed kids who don’t care whether their stomachs are sticking out from under their t-shirts or that their bums are too big for the seesaw, or that their panties are showing as they sit open-legged.
We only need to look at them to know we should perhaps all have stayed five-years-old, or at the very least have grown up with a five-year-old’s confidence and nonchalance. That is until mommy and daddy make them abundantly aware of their “over-weightness” and their “unlady-likeness”…and it all goes pear-shaped from there…

rafiek@mweb.co.za